16th Annual I believe…. either way, it was a less than stellar performance by yours truly. When my father asked me if I’d like to join the Velcro Team, I reluctantly said “sure” and asked if I could be a competitive runner this time around. Race rules state that competitive runners must be able to run 5K (3.105 Miles) in less than 23 Minutes, or so thats what I was told.. no problem right? Well, this ole’ boy got a lesson in butt whoppin’ tonight.
I took to the starting line to see one of my friends Eric Towle standing there in the same division. He asked me what my time goal was and I said “Sub 23 Minutes… but it ‘aint gonna happen, I’ll be happy with 25-26 minutes for 5K.” Pretty quick the gun went off and all of the nearly 5,000 runners (yes… for a 5K) took off down Elm Street in Manchester, NH. The minute I took my first few steps, my body gave me the international symbol for “you’re flippin crazy bud.” I tried my best to get it in gear and amble down the road as fast as I could…. I ended up WALKING… TWICE in the first mile of the race while still posting an 8:42 mile. I turned the corner and made it to the first aid station where I walked again to sip some water. I picked up a light jog and headed down Commercial St. I made it to mile 2 at 17:10 which was good enough for a 2nd mile time of 8:28… I slowed to a walk again… I walked briskly before running the next down hill section. It was pretty clear by now that my body is NOT at all used to any of this. I want to run the downs and flats and walk the ups! Oh Wait… the entire course is flat and down except for the 50 yard hill near the finish… but I want to run FAST like the rest of the looney tunes! QUICK.. EVERYONE HURRY UP AND FINISH!!!
I picked it up again and tried running a little more… I ran another down hill and walked again. This time, a runner came by and gave me the symbol for “come on bud…” I looked at him and shrugged with a puzzled look… “Yeah whatever…” I was pissed. But I picked it up and tried running as hard as I could again. I got to mile 3 and the clock read 25:33… Mile 3 split was 8:23.. at least I’m still picking up steam! As I made it to the top of THE hill, I started running down the shute to the finish. I watched a guy wave to friends in the crowd and then I heard a sound. It sounded like he was pretending to puke… I looked back to laugh with him when it happened.. the puke sound again followed by a splash on my leg. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! This is a 5K! THREE MILES and this guy is PUKING! Why?!
You guessed it… he drank too much!
Division: 134/254 (Males 25-29)
Place: 1,171 out of 4,827
So I didn’t break 23 minutes, and the performance overall was horrible. I walked a total of 5 times over the course of 3 miles. But my split times were consistently faster each mile and I still finish within what I knew I could achieve… but hey… time to go back to Endurance Land.. to hell with this speed stuff.. ICK! (The last official 5K I ran was on Thanksgiving in November 2007).
Dad ran a 32:23. In the 5 and a half minutes between us, over 1,400 runners crossed the line! And way to go to my Step Mom Helen who had a goal of breaking 40 Minutes… she banged out a 40:51!!
But lets talk about the puking guy! Yes.. its August. Yes.. it is important to drink. But consistently now I see races trying to tell runners to drink drink drink. When will races finally learn (Ultra’s EXcluded) and try to educate runners about the dangers of too much water along side with the importance of drinking. Here is what the Race website says:
“Before the race, drink plenty of fluids. The American College of Sports Medicine suggests 13–17 fluid ounces 10 to 15 minutes before competition.” Yes Yes… drink drink drink little fish. Its good for you… just wait till you read what else we’re going to tell you…
“Drink plenty of fluids during the race and afterwards. Drink frequently during the race. Don’t hesitate to splash water on your body. This aids evaporation and cooling of the body.” yes.. we now have Before, During and After… DRINK! Drink as much as you can and please… use a little to sprinkle on your sweaty heads. It feels nice!
“Try to keep your shoes dry; soggy shoes can lead to blisters.” Yes… because Jebus wouldn’t want us to have blisters from our little 3 mile run.. WHAT?!
“Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Do not overexert yourself.” Yes… since you’ll be drinking a gallon of water over the next HOUR as we’ve instructed you to do BEFORE… DURING… and AFTER our 3 mile run… you might want to pay attention to your swollen hands where your fingers look like sausage. Notice your headache, the nausea and of course your need to PEE like a race horse. Hey… we only told you to drink… now that you have a problem from listenning to us… you’re on your own.
Or… JUST PUKE!
(back to the trails…again)